So, long story short - I didn't get the job at Meditech. No biggie. Surprising, right? I thought I was going to be far more dissappointed than I am. That can only be a good thing.
In my long absence from my blog I have actually done quite a bit. I've gone on a vacation, applied for a job in Boston and come to a few important realizations about myself. The realizations are the most important of the three since I seem to get them infrequently.
I am a cynic and a sarcastic one to boot. Steph said it best, "When did you get this way?" In all honesty, I don't know. Over vacation I have realized that I am far more cynical about life that I thought I was. For instance I realized that I don't really belive in love. Sure I love people, I care about them and worry about them, but love in the "ever after" or "forever" sense I don't belive in. Maybe it's beacuse of all the rotten relationships I've seen people go through, the divorces that have rocked just about every couple's life that I know, who knows. In the end, I think that the best people can hope for in life is a love (an infatuation mixed with a degree of lust) that lasts for several years and in the end leaves you with a dear friend. As bleak as this picture may seem, there is one golden ray of hope. I can always be wrong. Heaven only knows that it wouldn't be the first time and I hope that I am. I think deep down everyone is looking for an "ever after" I just have ceased to believe in it. Most likely I'll change my mind about this but maybe not. I still am in the process of sorting this out in my own head and so much of what I'm writitng are me getting this all out on "paper" so to speak.
I used to be such an opptimistic child too...I wonder what happened?
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