Cars, Snow, and a Cranky Baby

This is actually a post that I contemplated writing last night but then I realized that eating ice cream in bed while breastfeeding and attempting to type was probably a bad idea. I'm a good multi-tasker but not that good. And yes I did eat ice cream in bed. I know that eating in bed is the worst habit to have but yesterday was one of those days and I was toast. It was me taking a moment to myself and it's not something I usually do.

Yesterday was a crazy day and I'm hoping that today will be better. I learned two things yesterday. Both of which led me to untold levels of frustration. The first thing I learned actually has to do with my car.

We purchased a new car this summer. It's a Mazda 5 which is a mash up of a station wagon and minivan. It seats six and seemed to be the best fit to our needs and budget. We asked all the usual questions and that did include the inevitable question on how it handles in the snow. Living in the northeast that's an important question. More so when you live on a hill like we do. We were told that it did well and we bought the car. I love the car generally speaking. It handles really well in rain and normal conditions, is comfortable, gets good gas mileage, and fits two children's car seats with room to spare in either of the two back rows. What I found out yesterday is that my car sucks in the snow. An inch to an inch and a half fell the night before last and when I tried to get out of the driveway and onto the road my car simply did not move. I was stepping on the gas and my car was practically standing still. My car doesn't have winter tires but it does have all-season tires. Sadly, I think my husband's Toyota Corolla does better in the snow than my Mazda. I am really disappointed about that. The fact that I wanted a car with all wheel drive at the least was a common point of discussion, if not contention, between my husband and I. I felt (and still feel) that we should have at least one car that can get us out of our driveway and to another place if necessary. My husband was very persuasive and so were the facts about our finances. An all-wheel drive vehicle is expensive. Many of them were more expensive used than our new car. Granted, we got a real deal on the Mazda but still. It's something that I really don't understand. Minivans are supposed to be family cars but most families can't afford them. It's crazy! Needless to say I really missed my Jeep yesterday. Even without it being in four wheel drive it could have easily plowed through the snow yesterday. I'm more than a little frustrated but I suppose that learning how to drive this front wheel car in the snow is going to be a learning experience. Maybe that's a good thing? I'm not quite sure yet.

Lesson number two from yesterday: It is possible to return to breastfeeding. I know that everyone says is possible from doctors to experienced moms who have gone though what I have. Really though, until you do it yourself I feel that you're always going to be a bit skeptical. Sunday was my first day back to breastfeeding my daughter (now over a month old!) after ten days on a harsh antibiotic that made me unable to breastfeed unless I wanted to give my daughter a serious case of the runs and a high probability of dehydration. For ten days I did the pump and dump and took my antibiotics to cure my mastitis infection. (Really painful, by the way.) All the while I saw my milk production dwindling and I was wondering if I was going to be able to breastfeed my daughter at all when I was done with the meds and the infection was gone. My mother-in-law and doctor said that with a bit of work it would be possible. Yesterday was the hardest day since Sunday (so far) because my little princess was basically eating all day. I got nothing done and I was frustrated and tired by the end of the day. That's not usually the best combo for me. On top of which my ta-tas were exceedingly sore which made me even grumpier. The up side of all of this is that I have been able to get her to eat on my left side which was the problem side since the start. It still can be a bit of a fight because she has to work harder to get the milk flowing and there isn't as much there as on the right but it's a start!

So that brings me to today. I have to get all the things done today that I didn't get done yesterday. We'll see if it all works out that way. Furthermore we're supposed to go pick out a tree today and so I need to prep the living room for that. My princess just started crying again so I'm off to feed her and hope that today won't be a repeat of yesterday...

The Top Ten Things Mothers of Infants Miss Out On

Let's face it: having a baby is a wonderful thing even with all the horror stories you get told. Any woman who's gone through childbirth will know what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the stories of difficult labors, exhausting trimesters, morning sickness that won't leave, etc. What you (at least I didn't) don't hear about is how having a baby will affect the little things in life. With that in mind I've compiled a list of the top ten things that I've missed post-partum.

1. Sleep is a thing of the past. This is especially true if you have two kids. Most moms will tell you that it gets better after the first three weeks. It does, a little. The worrying though just begins. My son is three and I still check on him when I wake up in the middle of the night to make sure he's still breathing. My mom now tells me that this is normal and it won't change as they get older. It explains why she never slept until I got home at night.

2. Hot coffee and hot meals are virtually non-existent. Your child will always take precedence and so your wants and needs tend to get moved to the back burner. This is especially true if you are a breastfeeding mom. Your baby will inevitably get hungry or need a diaper change right as your meal has been served. As my son has gotten older it's gotten better. I've also gotten a cup warmer that you plug into the wall. My coffee might not be piping hot but at least it is warm!

3. Planning according to your schedule is a joke. You try the first few times. I did, even with Ellie being my second and knowing how that ended the first time I took my son out. You learn that getting out the door with a baby takes more time (and stuff) than just grabbing your phone, purse, and keys and walking out the door. The baby needs a last minute diaper change, inevitably soils the clothes she's in  which requires another change. Now you're 15 minutes late for that lunch date and you haven't even walked out the door yet. This is your new reality.

4. Any outing will take twice as long as it did before. That's only with one child. I've found that with two it takes five times longer. Diaper changing the baby, stopping for the potty for my three year old, getting in the car, getting out of the car, ensuring my three year old has his toy that he brought into the store, stopping to pull out his snack cup or bottle from the now enormous diaper bag. Yep. It's tons of fun...well it's an adventure anyways! 

5. You will almost always remember everything for the baby but forget the most essential things for yourself. Whether you are simply going out to the grocery store or on a trip to visit your in-laws. No matter how many times you check, double check, and triple check it will happen. The cell phone one day, a hair tie the next, pajamas, a toothbrush, underwear, you name it. The way around it? Keep spares in your car. Seriously.

6. Doing one thing at a time is history. Your skills at multi-tasking become legendary. Gone is doing one thing at a time at a pace meant to complete them properly in a timely manner. Your pace becomes frenzied and you learn to feed your baby, have a conversation, drink water, and play with your three year old all at the same time. Now, I'm not saying that your conversation will be totally coherent or that you won't wind up with water on you or on the floor, but hey, no one's perfect!

7.  Quality time with your spouse becomes more limited than before. As a woman who's just given birth you're tired. Extremely tired. You're baby goes to bed and so do you. At least you should be sleeping when the baby sleeps but that doesn't always happen, let's face it. Your spouse has not been through childbirth and while they may be experiencing sleep deprivation but chances are they are not nearly as tired as you are. Your waking hours are spent eating, bathing, feeding your baby, and maybe doing a little housework. Quality time with your loved one now revolves around your time with the baby. Grab time together whenever you can. Snuggling on the couch even if you fall asleep, eating supper together, even folding laundry together are all little moments that we've found keep us connected. 

8. Taking time for yourself is more important than ever! It doesn't have to be large blocks of time or hours. It's about taking a few extra minutes when you can. For me it's taking those extra minutes when I get out of the shower to put my leave-in hair conditioner, face cream, and body lotion on. Not only does it make me feel pretty and clean but it's quality me time when I know I'm doing something good for myself. It's only taken me 30 years and two kids to finally get a good skin care regime going but hey...who's counting?

9. Getting together with friends. Having a baby doesn't mean that you have to give up your social life but get ready for it to change. Depending on your lifestyle pre-baby it can be pretty drastic. Gone are the days when you can make a spontaneous trip to the restaurant or late night movie. Especially as a couple. Also friends that are single or those without kids don't always immediately understand why you can't do these things. Not all of them but there's usually one or tow in each group of friends. As the baby gets older be prepared: some friends may request that you leave your child at home. Don't take it as an insult, especially if they don't have children of their own or have made an effort to get their children a sitter for the time. Look at it as a date night or a little time away from your child, both of which are healthy things for you and your partner or spouse. To keep healthy friendships be fair: let your friends know that you need time to plan things now, how late you are willing to stay out,  and what days work best for you and a potential sitter if they want to get together sans children. Taking commonsense steps will help you keep up with your friends and keep your sanity as well.

10. Money. You may think this is silly but as a mom of two on a budget I think it's something that needs to be addressed. Something my mom and my mother-in-law have said over and over: you will never be rich enough, settled enough, or have the perfect situation to have children. EVER. It's true too. Working off of a budget is very helpful if it's not something you do already because babies (and children) are expensive! Forty (40!) dollars for a box of diapers that might last two weeks is just the beginning. Our budget used to include pocket money for both my husband and I. Not much, mind you, 25$-30$ a week for little things. Coffee or breakfast out with friends, books (we're both big readers), a new computer game (like we have the time!), fabric for my costumes, or a date night at the movies. That's gone now. That money is put towards diapers, wipes, shoes, clothes, and outings for our children. The last time I bought anything for myself was during my pregnancy because I needed maternity clothing. Even then it was my mom who bought them for me as a gift. I wonder if people who live in the higher income brackets have these same issues...but I somehow doubt it. The important thing is that you don't mind. It's not like I never buy anything for myself anymore but I'm just far more conscious about about what I truly need.

***

That's my list. The most important thing to note is that while I might miss these things I certainly don't mind the loss. They aren't true losses as long as you find a way to adapt. Everyone has their own way to work around these issues and some of the things above aren't issues at all for some folks because they find a way to work around it naturally. These are  just the top ten things that I recognized in my own life that I had to make a conscious, and sometimes considerate, effort to adapt to. It helps a lot to have supportive family and friends which I have been blessed with in abundance. Whoever said that it takes a village to raise a child was not far from wrong. I never really understood that until I had my own children. It simply boils down to the fact that two pairs of hands and eyes are not enough when it comes to raising children. Take help when you can and enjoy your child(ren) all the more because of it!  

Peanut Butter Buttons

A traditional holiday (Thanksgiving & Christmas) cookie in our household and one of my family's favorites! Peanut butter and chocolate, what's not to like? These are not the healthiest cookies though, hence the limited availability in our house! This recipe should make approximately between 2-3 dozen cookies.

Tools: 

- 1 large mixing bowl
- electric mixer (I use my Kitchen Aid Stand Mixer)
- measuring cups
- measuring spoons
- cookie tray
- parchment paper or silpat
- rubber spatula
- tablespoon
- cooling rack
- rigid spatula (to get them off the cookie sheet!)

Ingredients: 
- 3/4 cup Peanut Butter (smooth or chunky)
- 1/2 stick of Crisco
- 1-1/4 Cup Brown Sugar (dark or light brown, whatever you have or prefer is fine)
- 3 Tbsp Milk
- 1 Tbsp Vanilla
- 1 LG Egg
- 1-3/4 Cup All Purpose Flour
- 3/4 tsp Baking Soda
- 2-3 dozen unwrapped Hershey's Kisses

Instructions:
1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees and line cookie sheets with parchment paper.
2. Cream peanut butter, Crisco, brown sugar, milk, and vanilla until smooth in the larger mixing bowl.
3. Add the egg and mix well.
4. Add the baking soda and mix thoroughly. 
5. Add the flour bit by bit, mixing well after each addition. 
6. Drop by rounded tablespoonfulls approximately 2 inches apart. (DO NOT FLATTEN!)
7. Bake for 7-8 minutes. (This may vary according to your oven so check the first batch often!) 
8. As soon as the cookies are out of the oven take the unwrapped Hershey's Kisses and push one into each cookie with the point down* and allow them to cool a bit before transferring them to a cooling rack.

*Traditionally these are made with the points of the Hershey's Kisses standing up. I've found that burying the point of the Kiss into the cookie results in less lost Kisses and it makes the cookies easier to pack up! 

Finally Hitting My Stride

***WARNING: Some of the following content may be considered TMI by some...***

The past month have been a real challenge. My husband and I have welcomed our second child, a
beautiful daughter, into the world and that was the easy part. While our dear Ellie did have to spend an extra day with mommy in the hospital due to elevated bilirubin (jaundice) she is doing well now. The photo therapy bed she had to spend 18 hours on did make her look like a glow worm though.

I've had more trouble with the post-delivery stuff than the actual delivery. Shortly after the 2-week mark I started having breast pain. I went to the OB's office and found out I had mastitis. The short version of it is that I had pain, redness, and mild swelling in my left breast. I couldn't breastfeed off of my left side due to an inverted nipple to begin with (same thing happened with my son) and was waiting until Ellie's mouth had gotten a bit bigger to do that. In the mean time I had been pumping my left and giving it to her in a bottle while continuing to breastfeed her off of my right. The pain from the mastitis was so bad that I wasn't even able to pump. I began a course of antibiotics and after 48 hours saw no improvement and even experienced a fever and chills. On top of that the redness had begun on my right side. I called the doctor again and I was sent to see a general surgeon. Let me tell you, having to go see anything with a "surgeon" in the title makes me a little scared. Especially when you don't know what's going on. The general surgeon was very kind though and explained that I needed to go for an ultrasound to see if any pus had collected and if so that I would need to have it drained. (ICK...needle in boob doesn't sound pleasant to begin with. Needle in an infected boob much less so!) Fortunately nothing like that was found and I was put on a stronger course of antibiotics. Unfortunately I can't breastfeed while on these antibiotics. So for ten days (ending in 4 days thankfully) Ellie is on formula.

There are a few upsides to this: 1. my dear hubby can feed her while I pump to keep up milk production 2. I was able to have my father-in-law's famous Irish Coffee which he only makes on thanksgiving with out having to worry since I'm dumping the milk I pump right now anyways. The distinct downside to all this is that my milk production has gone down while Ellie's appetite has only grown. She now almost always eats 5 fl. oz. each feeding. I'm not pumping more than 3.5 oz so...I'll have a bit of catching up to do. I'm hoping that I'll be able to breastfeed her normally after the meds are through though the doctor did say that a case like mine usually leads to moms switching to formula permanently. BOO. I'm hoping that my stubbornness will serve me well in that way. Though time will tell.

On the up side of things, I feel like I'm finally hitting my stride when it comes to finding balance between my two children. I've found that finding crafts to do with my son are a great way to spend quality time with him while his little sister is asleep. He loves painting, glue, and making things and so do I so that works out great! One of the favorite things he's done recently is paint a piggy bank after dropping his dinosaur-shaped bank and breaking it. It involved a trip to the local Michael's Craft store and the purchase of one very large piggy bank and some oil based Sharpie markers. Daddy and Mommy got to help too. He would tell us what he wanted drawn, in what color, and we were to draw it. It was a fun family project and he was totally thrilled with the result. The fact that this one is a bigger bank than the last is exciting too. Fair warning to anyone that comes to the house: if you leave change on a table or in the sofa our little man will find it and finder's keepers! My little man also likes to bake. It doesn't usually matter what but he loves to help in the kitchen. His current favorites are baking bread and, of course, cookies. He helped me mix up the cookie batter for all twelve and a half dozen cookies that were needed for Thanksgiving. I have a feeling that Christmas baking this year will be a big hit! Check out his favorites in the Home Recipes section: Peanut Butter Buttons.